B-Alive | Issue #2 – The Bridging Gap

APRIL 2022

I love to imagine a world that is free of bias, a gender-equal world.
MATILDA YORKE

Editors Note

Yes Sir, No Sir

I am happy that the theme of International Women’s Day 2022 was #BreakTheBias. The theme triggered memories of a series of incidents that tell me that we continue to live in a world that is cluttered with stereotypes and discrimination, and a definite bias towards the “Sirs”.

I am trying to get used to being addressed as “Sir” time and again, especially after being met in person or spoken to on the phone, and even after being addressed as Ms. Matilda.

Recall a friend Jane, who told me that since she was more popular than her husband in the neighbourhood, the invitations to the couple, were addressed to Mr. & Mrs. Jane, much to the indignation of her husband.

I was baffled when an employee of an investment company, who has visited my home, done business with me, continues to address me as Sir in WhatsApp messages. Even after correcting an acquaintance, he addresses me as Sir on the phone.

Another incident that stumped me was at a five-star restaurant with my husband and children. The server handed me the menu, and, looking at me, she said, “Sir, we have other special dishes, not written on the menu.” When I joked about the Sir, she replied, “Sorry, Sir.”

I had renewed my subscription for a service and got an acknowledgment from the office staff of that group. I was amused to read the salutation in the email: “Dear Sir.” This is very common in most correspondence.

I don my reasoning hat. Why do people not recognize whether you are sir or madam from your name? Maybe the person writing the email is not familiar with my name. They could have checked with somebody or as is the trend these days, look up the internet; it would take not more than five minutes to find out if Matilda is a boy’s or girl’s name. Or they could have addressed me by my full name!

Wonder why! We continue to live in a patriarchal world, which is automatically blinded by the fact that the only persons who matter in this world are ‘sirs’.

I chuckle when I remember the expression on a server’s face. He had offered the drinks menu to my husband and gave me the food menu. But I had stepped on his patriarchal ego, and he did not hide his disapproval when he got me a whiskey sour and a soda for my husband.

There are many such incidents… I love to imagine a world that is free of bias, a gender-equal world. Have any of you ladies encountered this? Or any men have been addressed as madam? Would love to hear from you at balive2021@gmail.com.

Stay safe and happy

Matty
(On behalf of the B-Alive team)

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