Susan Habegger An intriguing, and yet, unsettling conversation. At times, we struggle to express and defend our individual identity. Other times, we desperately want to blend in with the crowd.
Women of all cultures and ages can be caught up in the struggle to “be,” attempting to find a place that feels right. Who am I? How do I feel comfortable in my own skin? A big discussion! Let’s focus on one truth to help us travel this journey with courage and peace..
The reality: We often define our identities based on others.
Much of what we see as our identity centres on what others think of and expect from us, as women. This happens unconsciously; yet impacts our decisions, our expectations, and our sense of well-being.
You are not alone. Most of us, when asked to describe ourselves, give a list of who we are to others: I am a wife. I am a mother. I am a friend. I am a…May be, a list of accomplishments; or future goals. Perhaps we have experienced suffering and now that event seems to define us. In truth, all of these hold a place of importance: These things do identify us, set us apart from others.
However, clothed in this identity, we make unwise choices as we attempt to be who we think others expect us to be or who we think we should be. Today we feel good because someone is happy with us and the next, we despair because that identity is spoiled. In one traumatic event of my life, all my perceived identities were wiped away. I asked, “What is left of me?.
Here is the truth we need:
- You are more than what others expect of you — or what you expect of yourself– that is not your true and only identity.
- You are a woman who was brought into existence for a purpose, a unique creation.
- You have identity and value because the creator knows you.
This identity is:
- not dependent on what you do.
- not dependent on what others do… it cannot be taken from you.
- not dependent on events… they are part of your story but, not your identity.
You are a unique and purposeful creation. If all else is wiped away, this remains sure.
This is your true identity. Wrap it securely around you… and be alive.
